Death and Resurrection In My Time Of Covid (Toth-Magold)

Covid 19 quarantine killed my dyed black hair.  Monthly, expensive visits to the salon - gone forever.  Roots that skunked the crown of my scalp, and the thought that I needed to look younger to  feel better - dead. In their stead, is a liberated, silvery white, hoary head that shines with a resurrected reality.

Covid 19 quarantine killed the seasons of professional sports. As a shocking result, it also killed my appetite for professional sports.  Appetite is the correct word - I had been ravenous for Cleveland sports for decades. I ate, slept, and drank a menu of the Cavs, the Tribe, and the Browns. Now, that appetite is dead. In its place, is a resurrected diet of reading, music, and peaceful contemplation of anything besides wins and losses, and overpaid athletes.

Covid 19 quarantine killed my budget. No purchasing of unwanted clothing, recreational destinations, or overindulgent food. My rabid consumerism is dead. Consumer spending now brings resurrected memories of how my parents raised six children on a firefighter’s pay. We never overindulged, and we never wanted for anything that was important.

Covid 19 quarantine killed the college experience and academic expectations of my college-aged grandchildren. Online learning and family support provided an unfinished resurrection - praying for a completion Fall semester.

Covid 19 quarantine killed hugs, and weddings, and funerals, and social camaraderie. These cannot be resurrected. The missed sharing and comforting and loving cannot be brought back, cannot be resurrected. In their place is hope - that new sharing and comforting and loving will soon emerge.

Covid 19 quarantine damaged my spirit - not because of my own suffering, but because of the constant bombardment of devastatingly sad and confusing messages coming from every major institution - the press, the government, the health care system, the education system - a cacophony of noise that seeped into my soul, and cast an ever-present funk.

Add to that funk, the violence and destruction and hatred that is killing our stability, our order, our cities, our very souls - and one is left with the question - which shall succeed? Death or resurrection?

Phyllis Toth-Magold is a freelance writer, former Adjunct English Professor at Ohio Dominican University, high school English teacher, and author of A Beast No More. She has been awarded numerous recognitions for her writing and work in education, including curriculum development for Wynton Marsalis Enterprises and Jazz at Lincoln Center. She currently resides in central Ohio, but with roots planted firmly in Cleveland.