Welcome to My Pandemic: A Playlist (Cummins)

                                            Photo by Eric Cornelius

My husband and I were chatting recently, on one of the long walks we’ve gotten in the habit of taking through our neighborhood, about how important music is to us, as individuals and as a couple. We came together around music. I can remember the CD Tim had playing when I first met him for dinner at his house – Smashing Pumpkins’ Gish. No one else I knew then was listening to Smashing Pumpkins. I fell madly in love with him to Joni Mitchell’s Blue.

Over twenty-five years of marriage, we’ve attended hundreds of live concerts. Most together, though occasionally we’ve gone with others if one of us didn’t find the artist appealing. We’re usually game for anything. Already, we’ve had three concerts canceled for this spring and summer. It is trivial to complain about the concerts we’ve had canceled when people are dying. I know this and yet.

Leonard Cohen’s concert on October 26, 2009 at Playhouse Square’s Allen Theatre in Cleveland ranks, for both of us, as the single most significant musical moment in our lives. Music is our church, our spiritual center, and surely, that night, Cohen was our priest. The audience sat in rapt silence, attentive as disciples.

The last concert we saw was The Cowboy Junkies, March 8, at The Ark in Ann Arbor, Michigan. It was sold out, all of us packed in, “dangerously, close to one another” as Sheryl Crow sings on All I Wanna Do, and I’ve carried some guilt about the risk of exposure we opened ourselves to; or, worse, the risk we might have exposed to others.

I don’t understand those pastors who insist on holding services in spite of CDC guidelines, putting their congregations at risk. Yet, there we were at The Ark four weeks ago, unapologetically sipping beers and cheering for three encores. I admit, I am grateful for that concert. I will need it to get me through the spiritual lack.

The past few weeks have been a challenge. I find myself spinning through the five stages of grief like I’m eighteen and at a Dead show, a whirling dervish, the ebb and flow of the pandemic following no discernible pattern, and I am drunk on the worry that swirls relentlessly through my brain. The only balm to quiet my brain: long walks and music. 

 I don’t keep playlists on Spotify, but there is comfort in sharing our journeys. So, welcome to my pandemic playlist. It’s sometimes dark and sometimes hopeful, but it’s always honest.

You can find this playlist ready for you to listen to at spotify.com. Search for “Welcome to My Pandemic: A Playlist.” 

Miley Cyrus – Party in the U.S.A.

Bjork – Virus

The Isley Brothers – Contagious

The Band of Heathens – Nothing to See Here

The National – Fake Empire

Fleetwood Mac – Little Lies  

Martha Wainwright – Bloody Mother F*%king Asshole

Aretha Franklin – Think

The Rolling Stones – Gimme Shelter

Robyn – Dancing on My Own

Buddy Guy – Damn Right, I’ve Got the Blues

The Cranberries – Ode to My Family

Stevie Wonder – I Just Called to Say I Love You

Fifth Harmony (feat. Ty Dolla $ign) – Work from Home

Black Eyed Peas, Papa Roach – Anxiety

Lauryn Hill, D’Angelo – Nothing Even Matters

The Decemberists – We All Die Young

UB40 – Red Red Wine

Peggy Lee – Fever

Dr. Dre, Eminem, Skylar Grey - I Need a Doctor

The Beach Boys – In My Room

Diddy, 112, Faith Evans – I’ll Be Missing You

Queen – Save Me 

Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive

Johnny Cash – Folsom Prison Blues

Queen, David Bowie – Under Pressure

Frozen – Do You Want to Build a Snowman

Brad Paisley – Alcohol

John Hiatt – The Wreck of the Barbie Ferrari

CeeLo Green – F*%k You

Liz Phair – Divorce Song

Brenda Lee – I’m Sorry

George Jones and Tammy Wynette - We’re Gonna Hold On

Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’

The Animals  - We Gotta Get Out of This Place

Katrina and the Waves – Walking on Sunshine

The Beatles – I Want to Hold Your Hand

Nina Simone – Feeling Good

Pink – Raise Your Glass

Luther Allison – Bad News is Coming

Alicia Keys and Jay Z – Empire State of Mind

James Taylor – Fire and Rain

R.E.M. – It’s the End of the World

The Beatles – With A Little Help From My Friends  

David Bowie – Helden

Leonard Cohen – Come Healing (live in Dublin)

The Byrds – You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere

Joni Mitchell – Blue

The Go-Go’s – Our Lips Are Sealed

Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive

Diana Ross and The Supremes – Someday We’ll Be Together

  

Jackie Cummins holds an MFA in fiction from Bowling Green State University and works as the Major Gifts Manager for a cancer wellness center in Toledo, Ohio. Her most recent work can be found at The Baltimore Review. When she isn’t writing, she pursues aerial arts at Bird’s Eye View Circus Space in Toledo, teaches the occasional creative writing workshop, and attends concerts with her husband, Tim.