Dodging Air (Honig)

My daughter at 4 months
Takes the wrong breath at the wrong time
One inch to the left,
One moment later and it does not go wrong
She cannot close her hands
The wrong moment and the wrong air
She cannot lift her legs
Almost in that breath almost do I see her destroyed

One breath in the wrong place at the wrong time
I breathe the same air and have no problems
I wait for test after test
She cannot lift her head
I wait to watch my daughter die.
More tests and almost we move to the ICU
Almost we intubate
She cannot move the muscles in her face
But always she can watch with her eyes:
Please

She cannot drink anymore, her muscles flatten
Her eyes go dull
And finally, an answer
An orphan medication for a unicorn condition
Almost, almost, almost

And much later, she is older
She is (probably) fine
As she places her mask on her face
Places her helmet on her head
Rides her scooter down the drive
Dodging air
She cannot go through that again

While our bodies might be healthy
our souls are just starting to recover.

Kate Honig is a Literacy Specialist who provides reading & instructional support to her colleagues. She has spent the past 13 years working with students who have special needs. She is a full-time reader and sometimes writer. She lives in Rockland County, New York, with her husband and two children.